welcome to my world.....

4:50pm: i just got something in my email asking me to post... weird jeni, weird...

anyway, lost my cell phone, have my moms, free almost all week, anyone wanna chill? i have many movies and basically an open house

7:01pm:

Dear Santa... Dear Santa, This year I've been busy! In October I signed my organ donor card (28 points). Last Saturday I committed genocide... Sorry about that, tracethetree (-5000 points). Last Sunday I helped xia_ see the light (8 points). Last week I pushed xplaidunderoos in the mud (-17 points). In April I gave i_for_an_eye a life-saving blood transfusion (50 points). Overall, I've been naughty (-4931 points). For Christmas I deserve a moldy sandwich! Sincerely, punkster376

Write your letter to Santa! Enter your LJ username:

7:30pm: Reply with your name and I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie/book/fictional character/SOMETHING reminds me of you.
3. I'll pick a flavor of pudding to wrestle with you in.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me. Well, maybe just me.
5. I'll tell you my favorite memory of you, should I have one yet.
6. I'll tell you what animal or plant you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal. You MUST. It is written.

9:12pm: so uh yea... im pale, like legs are translucent

11:19pm: so bored
i like this background
i need to shower like whoa

7:03pm: i cant wait for may to be over, longest month ever, why is it that the two grad parties i am invited to are at the same time? ive been thinking too much recently

6:42pm: happy birthday to me
hooray for medication and fall out boy

10:46pm: why did so many people do a happy may entry? its just a month (although the coolest one cause it contains my birthday)

ive gotta clean this shit up, i cant take it any longer

but what if im doing this for the wrong modivations?

10:04pm: http://community.webshots.com/album/323646652XrKsvY

thats where the pictures are, yea i know me and josh were hott, and i guess everyone else was to, but we were hotter (me more so then him) (he doesnt read this so i can say whatever i want about him on here)

so apparently i looked like a hott porn star at prom, id like to get some more opinion on that one, so uh... please comment

ok so prom from the begining (this could be long)

it took 2 people 2 hours to do my hair and makeup, oh my gosh, they kept doing stuff and then being like "no wait thats not perfect" so then they would re-do it, but then i was all pretty and then i went home and got ready and my moms boss and her granddaughter came over and they saw me all pretty and took some pics

then josh came over, laughed at me as i tried to get his boutineer (sp?) pinned on him, i didnt think that i did that bad seeing as it was the first time i tried and no one told me how or helped, but them my mom took it off and redid it

then we started pictures at my house, my mom kinda jokes about how josh is afraid to touch me, and my mom molested him

then pictures at the park, BAD IDEA, mud and goose poop and it being really cold, but i saw brittney there!! and that made me happy, ok so while we are standing in a circle talking and whatever my mom snaps my underwear!! gah! freaked me out

so the limo comes, my first time in one, super cool, it was me, josh, danese, kaitlin, john, and mattie p, the driver was tom, there were 3 different types of pepsi, (regular caffene free and diet) mike and ikes, cream savers, and peanut M&M's, everytime he put the breaks on i fell into johns lap, that was interesting, that limo was so much fun, we got there early so we just chilled in it til it was time to go in, then we were the first people there

ton of fun, so much dancing, everyone looked so pretty, my dress came unlaced a few times but josh fizxed that, everyone was like eatting dinner and shit and me kaitlin courtney and chelsea were out on the dance floor, super fun

best comment of the night was made by tim, that being something that i probably shouldnt post but might tell you if you asked, but im probably the only person who it makes happy

so that was prom and all the music was over and all and then we went and got our frames and keychains and headed to the limo, oh man!!! went to wendys, limo driver didnt know the area well so we had to give him directions, we went through the drive through and had mattie order, she screwed it up but o well, he was standing outside of the limo waiting for foor and me and kaitlin stood out of the moon roof, so cool, the people behind us who i think were also coming from some sort of dance (wearing dresses) were like "hey wheres your dress?" cause you couildnt see any of my dress from how far out of it i was standing, i thought that was funny, standing out of a limo sunroof is one of those things that you always dream of doing

then off to katherine (i think)'s house, lived near richie, finally got to put a bra on, all the girls were in her bedroom changing and we were all like "omg a bra feels sooooo good after that!!!" then we got harold and kumar go to white castle unrated, josh fell asleep on me durring that, even if he wanted to deny that he couldnt, we all heard him sleeping, it was a good movie though, then big moment of the night



i had chocolate cake around 3 in the morning, this broke my streak of no caffiene since january 11th, thats right january 11 to april 16 with no caffiene!!! im proud, but now ive been binging every since, the cake was so rich that i didnt even have that much of it and i just thought i was going to puke, that along with dorritoes was no good, my stomach got mad at me, then i didnt actually get to sleep around 430, i was laying on the couch, wake up around 530, still on the couch but not really cause josh moved so there wasnt much room for me and i didnt want to make a big fuss to wake him, then someone screamed which i later found out was katherine having a nightmare, then i screamed quieter then her because my leg cramped up and really hurt, then i moved to the floor and slept 6 to 7 on my hoodie (which was a blanket when i was on the couch with josh, you try sharing a size small hoodie with someone) then we had to leave at 745 cause josh had t-ball with mikey, i took a picture of myself (the official morning after picture) wearing his jacket while i was in the car on the way home

then i got home, had a lot of saved up chocolate, told my parents about prom, then went to walmart, got the pics developed, then came home, went to starbucks, got a frap with caffiene for the first time in what felt like forever, jazz band, dont want to talk about it, then home, sin city later that night, good, weird, no church the next day, walmart again with my mom, mall with andrea, homework and movie with josh, then home, sleep, school, home, orchestra, ritas, home, sleep (sitting on the couch with my homework, i have been sore all day because of this), school, home, wawa, school, home and that brings me to now

wow that was long

copy and paste

4:36pm: proms over, more on that later

11:10am: so i was sitting and i was like "you know what i think its about time for an entry in my LJ" i am so addicted to these online things, i dont think its healthy, so i ran ad-aware on my computer last night, it found over 5000 files that needed to be deleted, so my comps been running a lot better since then, its kinda nice, i really dont feel like going on the treadmill now but i know that if i dont ill get mad at myself later, gah! i promised myself id do it at least 3 if not 4 times over break, and i havent done it at all, i painted my nails clear so that they dont break and will be all pretty for prom, they are shiny

so i think im addicted to emergency & i, i'm very easily addicted to things, thats why i try to stay off the heroin, well... off to waste more of my time on some other site

9:45pm: live journal just REALLY confused me, but i think its all good now

9:01am: when its time to stand alone and no one understands
so im at school in ss class suposed to be doing research on SEATO, but im not, i dont have the attention span to do that, this is much less boring, ok that was a lie, i really love livejouernal, i wish that more people used it, i think its far superior to xanga, yes i know that i upset my xanga a lot more then this, i think i should start updating this one though, just because less people read it, fewer people will read my horribly emo bitching, which i think is a good thing, cause God knows i could go on forever, everything will be better someday, cause someday ill get out of here

can you please at least try to ignore me? oh who am i kidding, your not even gonna read this, let alone know that im talking to you

10:10pm: i said i would, so i did
btrflyr8: plese... if a guy ever started bleeding out of his dick he'd prolly fucking die right on the spot

10:53am: so its been a while, nothings changed, im still stupid, im still wrong, im still not content, i still hate life, i still cant get those memories out of my mind, and how ill never have them back, why cant i just move on

10:24pm: dip it low
amazing, i wish we could have finished

so fricking wet oh my god, and of course my extra shirt was in my stadium coat pocket and not on me, hooray for wet shirts in the rain, eh at least i had a cool bra on.... lol

i like going to friendlys its so chill and i realize that i can be with the most random people and still have a good time, there are just certain people i cant

one liner from tonight "i love liquid going down my throat" and also i found out that i can suck ice cream through the special friendlys straws

i need to go take something out of my hat box so it can dry

i want to get as far away from you as possible, only because i cant get and closer

"dancing" makes me happy, i want to go to a dance

i want to say that im content, but i cant, its still in my mind

10:21pm: try to forget how it feels inside
nothing worth anything has been happening, i hate my school schedule sooo much, and im stuck with it for the next 8 months or whatever, and it gets worse next semester, yay, got 2 new cd's today, my mom is the worst backseat driver ever, flooding last night was crazy, left school at 745-750ish and didnt get home til 930, insane, school sucks, being home sucks, everything sucks, yet i know i have it a thousand times better then most of this world, i hate myself for complaining, i wish i knew what it was like so i could apreciate my "problems"

4:37pm: so im starting this up again, i dont really know why i stopped, not a big fan of the new updating thing though, its too big for my screen, but anyway, things could be going better, but then again, they could always get worse, one more likely then the other, more some other day

12:37am: goodbye summer

11:07pm:
Adopt Your Own Emo Kid!

1:09pm: and when it all goes to hell will you be able to tell me your sorry with a straight face
yea its been a while, i hardly update this anymore, even though its so much better then xanga, even though it might not seem like it, i do love my LJ, i havent been up to much anyway, just chillin with people, warped your is this friday, carolyn comes home wednesday, i go away the 12th, i really want this school year to start so i can get it over with, its the kinda thing that i dont want to do but will never want to do so i just want to get it out of the way, i like driving, i hope that one day im a good driver, cant wait til i can get my license, too bad i have no clue when i can take drivers ed, but i cant take it this summer and i probably cant take it durring the school year, i got absolutly nothing accomplished this summer, kinda sad...

11:32pm: "You have to prove yourself"
if im not good enough for myself how can i be good enough for someone else?
why would anyone want to be around me or spend time with me?
like i think i might want to be my friend for a little while, but not very long
your better than me, and thats why im not good enough
im not the best
i never will be
im just not content, i should be, im not because im not good enough

2:32pm: im learning all about my life by looking through her eyes...
i wish now that i went to wcu music camp, i should have, when your there no one knows your background and you can be anyone, even if that is still just me, its nice to start with a clean slate, there were so many cool people there, however many kids chillin in the dormroom late at night, and we all have something in common, we all love music, and the two times i went there were amazing, the first time i went there it was the only good thing of my entire summer, the only thought that kept me sane, and it was fricking amazing, just the perfect week
just to see everyone again would have been nice
theres so much stuff that i wanted to do this summer, its my last summer as a completely free kid, next year im gonna have a job
why didnt i go to japan? i had the chance to go to fricking japan!!! how did i let that pass me by? its a life long dream of mine since i can remember
eh, just me being stupid, ill get over it, oh god its gonna be a long year

i really hope i do good at districts, its july and im practicing for it like crazy, i just know that placing high, even if i dont make it, will make me feel good

i have been watching so much Vh1 its insane, i know WAY too much about Jessica Simpson and Pam Anderson, i waste hours everyday watching VH1, its so sad, lol

saw back to the future for the first time that i remember, that was fun, i had a good time...

marching unit was well.... marching unit, dave pissed me off...

"I'd sooner take my life away then live with losing you"

11:21am: "if you fall down enough well soon enough you will find hell"

11:39am: why did i even try?